Raider Report for Tuesday, March 24th

Good Morning Raiders!!! Be sure to check your email for important information today.
Take your studies seriously, so you won’t make the mistakes these children did Here are a few examples to make you smile. If by any chance you do not see an error in one of the statements below you may want to have an in depth conversation with your religion teacher. 😊
The following statements about the Bible were written by the children; they have not been retouched or corrected ( i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in etc.)
In the first book of the bible, Guinesis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on in pears.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told adam to eat the apple.
Moses died before he ever reaches Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and they obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Remember even on the toughest days there is always something to smile about. We Miss You ALL…..Blessings on your day! Make Every Day Count, Cindy Bozarth, Administrative Assistant Quincy Notre Dame High School 1400 South 11th Street Quincy, IL 62301 office: 217/223-2479 fax: 217/223-0023

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